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Using Pain To Institute Change In Your Life!

Le 1 August 2016, 05:22 dans Humeurs 0

Why do you do something that harms you? Why do you do something that has an overall negative effect in your life? Why do you do something that will make you unhappy later?


The answers to those questions are not easy. When you are overeating, or eating unhealthy foods you are happy and content during the time that you are eating them. You know that you shouldn't have them, but eat them anyway. The reason for this is the positive effect eating gives you at that very moment, is far less painful then the cruel realization that you will have to deal with in the future.


Now what exactly do I mean by that? You know that to stop eating fatty, delicious foods and start exercising will be harder in the long run than you are ready to commit yourself to fixing. Why is that?


In my personal experience, when something seems so difficult, you need adequate motivation to make such a drastic change of your life. There are many schools of thought on how this can be done. However it is my opinion based on my life that the best way to force yourself to change is to create a huge list of reasons why if you wait any longer to change what will happen to you!


I think people in general like to think that positive goals are far easier used to inspire ones self to do things. However, I believe the opposite may be true. I think that create a list of pain and bad things associated with a problem is far more beneficial! Indulge my idea for a moment please. Think of times in your past where fear of mental pain or reprimand has inspired you to do something. If you can't think of anything, let me help you with one possible situation. You have a large assignment due in school the next day, you've had a week to do it, but kept putting it off. The night before it's due you work your tail off to finish your project. WHY? Because you fear the result if you DON'T! The idea of finishing a good project over long period of time was not sufficient positive influence in your life to make you want to do it, but the thought of getting in trouble, or failing because of NOT doing it is a far more inspiring method!


Now that I've started off on this tangent you may be asking yourself, well that seems like a reasonable idea, but what does that have to do with me, and my current problem? Well let me tell you, you can use this method to inspire you towards a positive area of your life, by instilling a fear of failing in you!


One way, which has been beneficial to me personally, is the following. Get a piece of paper and write your problem at the top. Let's say "Overeating and being unhappy with my weight". Now what I want you to do is write up a list of statements that are reasons why you *MUST* change your way of life RIGHT NOW. For instance, here are a few ideas that may be in that list:


I will not be happy looking at myself in the mirror. My spouse does not find me as attractive. I might not live as long as I could because of my weight.


Use as many examples and ideas as you can come up with, and be graphic worse case scenario to help you. "My spouse doesn't find me as attractive" well that could lead to possible divorce. That could lead to your children being sad and without a good influence in their life. I want you to use as many graphic ideas as you can to make it seem like you MUST change RIGHT NOW!


Now I want you to make a second list, this list is ALL the positive aspects that will happen because of this change. Here are a few ideas for you:


I will look better in my clothing I will be more sexy I will have lots of energy! I will have a stronger relationship I will love longer and healthier! I won't get sick as often!


Those are just a few of the benefits to losing weight for some people! Wouldn't you like to have those results and many more? I really want you to look at these lists, and make sure that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you must change, and these will be the results. Then do everything you can to make these positive changes in your life! Remember what could happen if you don't! Start small, take the stairs, walk to the corner store, so pushups, do sit-ups, eat healthier foods, reduce or stop the bad food intake!

4 Reasons Why Being Comfortable Isn't a Good Thing

Le 21 June 2016, 04:44 dans Humeurs 0

1. You Lose Sight of Your Goals 


I may have seemed a bit pushy in the last section pola ba about “goals”, but there is a good reason for it. Having goals and MOST IMPORTANTLY staying on top of them is probably the key to success, (if one existed ( it doesn’t!). It may sound cliché and you may hear it from just about anyone, however that’s because it works!It truly does work. Having no goals is like driving your car endlessly without a destination. It may be exciting for a while, but eventually you’ll run out of gas and you’ll be stranded in the middle of nowhere.Get your goals on paper,constantly keep reminding yourself.You can’t be comfortable if you have goals to achieve every day.Working is the exact opposite of comfort.Work on your goals every day and keep them logged.


2. You Lose Motivation


So you have a job, you have a house, you have a car, you have a gf/wife, you have food every day, you’re comfortable. So what’s the point? Why further pursue anything now that your basic human needs are taken care of.Well that’s what separates the average joe from the likes of Bill Gates, Lebron James, Isac Newton, Oprah Winfrey and anyone else who kept pushing until their names were known by the masses.Getting motivated is hard enough, STAYING motivated is a whole new ball game. It’s one of the hardest things to do, but it’s also one of the virtues that pays of most in the long run. Being comfortable only makes it harder because it hinders your passion and drive.Tips to Get and Stay Motivated,Clearly define your goals, write them down, let them be known to others,Don’t dwell on superficial motivation, you must dig deep in your own mind and find reasons why something is important to YOU not to society and those around you,Hang around positive people,Try 1 new thing every day, keep your life interesting,Stay curious and open minded about EVERYTHING,Head online and find some motivational videos, blog posts, etc.Did I mention to write your goals down? Seriously, do it. If you can’t focus on your goals every single day, then you might as well quit now


3. You Stop thinking


When you’re comfortable, what is there to think about? Not much really. The farthest your brain will ponder is flavor of Doritos is your favorite as you watch reruns of The Office on Netflix.Thinking is the one thing that really, really makes humans a special species. We have the ability to solve problems, innovate, create, plan, entertain, wonder and experience a huge range of emotions. Yet a lot of people tend to stop thinking once they become too comfy. Thinking is hard, why think when you can have instant brain stimulation from things like tv shows, the internet and etc.. But thinking is also your key to success. If you can’t clearly think about your future plans, your strategy for success or how you are going to pursue all of your goals then you are miles behind the word success.If your goals are not on your mind 24/7, odds are you aren’t giving them the proper pola ba priority they need.


4. You Stop Pushing


You may not be Lebron James, and neither am I, except for the identical basketball skills and athleticism me and him share (I kid), however we are all human, and all of us are subject to human error.You may be suffering from the same dilemmas as Lebron was while playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers. He was on top, he was the king, he was comfortable and because of his comfort he stopped reaching for greatness, he stopped pushing. You may be in the same situation. Being comfortable; lying on the couch; talking to the same people; reading the same books, watching the same shows; doing the same things everyday. These are the type of things preventing you from leaving your comfort zone and exploring new options, new ways of pursuing your goals.

Things that don’t keep pushing get pushed back.



Being comfy is fun and all, but that state pola ba is reserved for those who dream small. For those who have nothing they are working towards.

If you have goals you want to accomplish, the very last thing you want to do is lie down and take a nap.

Being successful is supposed to be hard, otherwise we’d all be billionaires.


how much blameI assumed

Le 27 April 2016, 04:45 dans Humeurs 0

She frowned at me through her cracked specs, studying me with a quizzical look, almost as if I'd just told her I'd once been a brunette and BBA Degree she was trying to imagine it. In the end, she pronounced: "You, married? I cannot picture this."

"But it's true--I was."

"Are you the one who ended the marriage?" "Yes."

She said, "I think it's most commendable that you ended your marriage. You seem splendidly happy now. But as for me--how did I get here? Why was I born an Indian girl? It's outrageous! Why did I come into this family? Why must I attend so many weddings?" Then Tulsi ran around in a frustrated circle, shouting (quite loudly for Ashram standards): "I want to live in Hawaii!!!"

Richard from Texas was married once, too. He had two sons, both of whom are grown men now, both close to their dad. Sometimes Richard mentions his ex-wife in some anecdote or other, and he always seems to speak of her with fondness. I get a bit envious whenever I hear this, imagining how lucky Richard is to still be friends with his former spouse, even after separating. This is an odd side effect of my terrible divorce; whenever I hear of couples scholarship splitting amicably, I get jealous. It's worse than that--I've actually come to think that it's really romantic when a marriage ends civilly. Like, "Aw . . . how sweet . . . they must've really loved each other . . ."

So I asked Richard one day about it. I said, "It seems like you have fond feelings toward your ex-wife. Are you two still close?"

"Nah," he said casually. "She thinks I changed my name to Motherfucker."

Richard's lack of concern about this impressed me. My own ex-spouse happens to think I changed my name too, and it breaks my heart. One of the hardest things about this divorce was the fact that my ex-husband never forgave me for leaving, that it didn't matter how many bushels of apologies or explanations I laid at his feet,  or how many assets or acts of contrition I was willing to offer him in exchange for departing--he certainly was never going to congratulate me and say, "Hey, I was so impressed with your generosity and honesty and I just want Etc wine shop to tell you it's been a great pleasure being divorced by you." No.

I was unredeemable. And this unredeemed dark hole was still inside me. Even in moments of happiness and excitement (especially in moments of happiness and excitement) I could never forget it for long. I am still hated by him. And that felt like it would never change, never release.

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